Feedback on Hospitality Initiative: Letter From Carol Niles
Dear Karen,
Your book, Open Heart Open Home,
has been my favorite book since I became a Christian in 1978! I made
best friends by extending hospitality, and I’m still making friends
that way in 2019; that’s about forty-one years (yes, 41 years) of
following your godly principles for loving people. I still have my
original copy. I must have gotten it by donating to “The Chapel
of the Air”—still my bestest, mostest, favorite radio show ever.
(Recently I sent David a letter about a podcast from your past programs
if you still have the original tapes available. We NEED this kind of
teaching, and it’s rare as a warm day in Maine, in January!!)
We
are all just too busy, with great things, of course, to be concerned
about reaching out to others, as in cooking a meal and setting the
table! Your concrete teaching guided me in how to be hospitable. I
didn’t know how. I had no role model. In my first seventeen years of my
life with my parents, before going to college, they only invited people
over once.
I am
pleased to read that you want to re-establish this godly pattern of
hospitality. Now that I am a widow, I am more fearful of inviting
others over. I don’t want anyone to say “no” because I feel like I’m
being rejected. I need to overcome this dread as I do want and need
more friends. I also want to invite people who are not Christians so I
might extend a friendly, welcoming invitation, as from our Lord. Maybe
you could address some of my issues:
• “Hospitality for Singles,” • “Hospitality for the Aging,” • “Hospitality for the Scaredy-Cat,” or • “Hospitality for Those on a Limited Budget,” • And
with everyone (almost) on specialized diets in 2019, “Hospitality
for those who eat ONLY Vegan, Organic, Dairy-Free, Full Fat, No Fake
Butter, Nothing From Outside the USA, Vegetarian, Paleo, Non-GMO,
Mediterranean Diet, Free-Range Eggs and Grass-Fed Beef, No Sulfites,
Low- or No-Fat, Sugar-Free or No-Fake Sugar.”
I
could use lessons on all the above situations! When I started extending
hospitality in 1978, I could serve a chicken leg quarter, string beans
from a can with a glob of butter on top, and fake mashed potatoes.
People were happy. Times and tastes have REALLY changed! Help!!
At
the church I attend, we have a wonderful example of a family, husband,
wife and four kids extending hospitality. Naturally, they became
leaders (and servants) in the church because of this gift. First, they
started inviting/ministering in their neighborhood, taking a dying man
into their home until he passed away, then on to inviting the pastor’s
family of nine (yes, 9) children, and on it goes. She is head of the
hospitality committee for the church. She babysits for non-Christians
just to be their friend. They have a weekly Friday night meal and
meeting of college and career folks, host baby showers, play groups,
and someday (I hope) an “old age” group … of course behind this
talented, hardworking, extremely organized, bread-baking woman with a
constant smile, is a man with godly but humble leadership qualities.
She would be a wonderful person to interview! She knows how to extend
hospitality in 2019 and is willing!
I’m so glad you are better! [graphic of "Carol" signature will go here] Carol E. Niles
As
you can tell by the above letter, Carol Niles is a delightful person.
She has been a friend of our ministry for decades and sent a donation
for the year with her note. We became even better acquainted when she
joined one of the teleconference memoir classes, and I have phoned her
to work out a deal. I’ll review the manuscript she’s working on in
return for writing up a profile of the hospitable family from her
church. (Due to financial restrictions of the last quarter of life, we
aging ones are down to a bartering economy BIG-TIME!)
Here’s the deal:
Carol has listed several areas of hospitality outreach she needs ideas
on. (Check out the bullets above.) If you shoot me some ideas
(email: karen@hungrysouls.org),
as a thank you, I’ll brainstorm a writing idea with you, review a
manuscript in the making, send you a couple of books free (lots of Open Heart, Open Home around, Going on the God Hunt, Making Sunday Special or Friends and Strangers) that you can keep for yourself, give as hostess gifts, or pass onto a younger generation.
See, we are REALLY bartering here!
Then
we’ll keep the ideas a-comin’ and test and compile everything into a
manual or put on the eventual website we are all building. David and I
are building a podcast idea that we will dialogue on together so all of
these contributions could be included in that as well. Melina Gallo,
Director of Global Distance Learning for Literacy & Evangelism
International, has volunteered to set me up with a digital classroom
for teaching on hospitality. Louise Danielson, who generously keeps me
abreast of thoughts and books that are nudging her, is a great email
companion. Don’t be afraid to be part of the dialogue! It’s so much fun
to get to know you all better.
COMMON REASONS FOR NOT PRACTICING HOSPITALITY (According to focus group responses I ran in 1990!) 1. Too busy. (This is the most frequently given answer.) 2. I don’t have enough energy. 3. It’s expensive! 4. I don’t know how to (set a table, prepare a company meal, make conversation, etc.) 5. I don’t know who to invite. 6. My house is too messy. 7. It’s too much work! 8. My mother was always uptight before company, and that gave me a bad taste for entertaining. 9. With work (or school) or single-parenting, etc.), I simply can’t manage anymore. 10. People just don’t invite folks over; I don’t even know my neighbors. 11. I’d
love to extend hospitality, but my spouse (or housemate or
roommate) thinks a home should be a refuge from people. 12. We don’t have enough room (or the right dishes, enough place settings, decent furniture, etc).
Karen Mains
NOTICES
An Evening for Misfits
Through
the years, David and I have delighted in offering an outreach titled
“An Evening for Misfits.” This is an opportunity to chat for those who
feel on the outside of every group they have ever joined, can’t find a
place to minister, can’t decide which are their most impelling gifts,
etc. Generally, the people who show up for these singular events are
the most creative, most delightful, most original folk we know. So, I
am wondering if any of you have a nagging misfit identity you don’t
know what do to with. For local folk, we can meet in my home in West
Chicago; for faraway folk, we can set up a conference call on FreeConferenceCall.com. My email is karen@hungrysouls.org. Let’s see what kind of response there is, then I can make some plans. Reminder!
The Soulish Food e-mails are
being
posted biweekly on the Hungry Souls Web
site. Newcomers can look that over and decide if they want to
register on the Web site to receive the biweekly newsletter. You might
want to recommend this to friends also. They can go to www.HungrySouls.org.
Hungry Souls Contact InformationADDRESS: 29W377 Hawthorne Lane West Chicago, IL 60185 PHONE: 630-293-4500 EMAIL: karen@hungrysouls.org
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Karen Mains
"We are all just too
busy ... to be concerned about reaching out to others. Karen, your
concrete teaching guided me in how to be hospitable. ... I am pleased
to read that you want to re-establish this godly pattern of
hospitality."
BOOK CORNER
A Life That Says Welcome: Simple Ways to Open Your Heart & Home to Others by Karen Ehman
I’ve
been buying up books that I find from online secondhand book dealers. I
thought this one on exercising the gift of hospitality, A Life That Says Welcome,
was delightful, exceedingly practical, and right-on in addressing many
of the above dilemmas people name that keep them from inviting other
folk into their home. Buy A Life That Says Welcome from Amazon.com
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